{"id":50,"date":"2015-02-16T00:00:20","date_gmt":"2015-02-16T00:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/?p=50"},"modified":"2015-02-23T00:33:10","modified_gmt":"2015-02-23T00:33:10","slug":"running-out-of-tp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/?p=50","title":{"rendered":"Running out of toilet paper"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Intestines filled with probiotics,<br \/>\nat a friend&#8217;s house- number 2 is calling.<br \/>\n2 just likes coffee. Hesitant, you respond.<br \/>\nAfter a long conversation, bowels are happier.<br \/>\nBut wait! No toilet paper,<br \/>\nand nobody to teleport it.<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s time for the crab dance,<br \/>\nand to damn the day you got into.<br \/>\nHowever -if it serves as a consolation:<br \/>\nWe all hate <strong>running out of toilet paper<\/strong>!<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/20150216.P1050479-1152x768.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-51\" src=\"http:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/20150216.P1050479-1152x768.jpg\" alt=\"20150216.P1050479-1152x768\" width=\"1152\" height=\"768\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/20150216.P1050479-1152x768.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/20150216.P1050479-1152x768-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/20150216.P1050479-1152x768-1024x683.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1152px) 100vw, 1152px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Intestines filled with probiotics, at a friend&#8217;s house- number 2 is calling. 2 just likes coffee. Hesitant, you respond. After a long conversation, bowels are happier. But wait! No toilet paper, and nobody to teleport it. It&#8217;s time for the crab dance, and to damn the day you got into. However -if it serves as &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/?p=50\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Running out of toilet paper<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.todaysanger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}